Marriage, family and belonging

Lesson 3 of 5 in "How societies are built", about 6 minutes

In most tribal societies a marriage is an alliance between two groups of kin. It creates in-laws who can be called on for help, opens paths for trade and makes peace between neighbours. That is why relatives take a close interest in the match, and why marriage is surrounded by rules. Individuals still fall in love, elope and divorce. Custom usually has a recognised path for each.

Marrying out and marrying in

Exogamy means marrying outside a given group. Clans are usually exogamous: two members of the same clan count as brother and sister, however distant. Endogamy means marrying inside a group. Many peoples expect members to marry within the tribe. The two rules work together: marry outside your clan but inside your people.

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1. The people. Picture a whole people. A clan system sorts everyone in it into groups of relatives, so that each person knows who is kin, who is a possible spouse and who owes what to whom.
2. First moiety. Some peoples divide into two halves called moieties. The Yolngu of northern Australia call theirs Dhuwa and Yirritja. People, land, animals and songs all belong to one half or the other.
3. Second moiety. The second half balances the first. Among the Tlingit of Alaska and Canada the halves are Raven and Eagle, also called Wolf. By custom a Raven marries an Eagle, never another Raven.
4. Clans of first half. Each half holds several clans. A clan is a group that claims one distant founding ancestor. Many clans have an emblem, such as an animal or plant, that members treat with respect.
5. Clans of second half. Clans in the opposite half are the people you marry into. They are also often the people who help at your funerals and ceremonies. Each side needs the other.
6. Lineages. Inside a clan are lineages: smaller branches where people can name each ancestor in the chain. Land, houses or titles are often held by the lineage, not by one person.
7. Households. At the bottom is the household. Because spouses come from different clans, almost every home links two clans. Not all peoples have moieties or clans. This is one pattern among many.

What is given at marriage

• Bridewealth: the groom's family gives valuables to the bride's family. Among the Nuer and Maasai this is paid in cattle. It acknowledges her family's loss and makes the children legitimate members of the husband's group.
• Bride service: the groom works for his wife's parents for a period. This is common among hunter-gatherers, including the Ju/'hoansi of the Kalahari.
• Dowry: the bride's family gives property to the couple or the groom's family. It is less common in tribal societies.
• Exchange: two families or clans each give a spouse to the other.

Outsiders have often described bridewealth as buying a wife. Those who practise it see it differently. The gift ties two families together, and if the marriage breaks down it may have to be returned, which gives both sides a reason to help the couple. The custom is also debated inside many communities, especially where payments have risen sharply.

Where the couple lives

In patrilineal societies the wife usually moves to her husband's village. In many matrilineal societies it is the husband who moves. Among the Garo of Meghalaya, a man who marries the daughter chosen as heiress goes to live in her parents' house. Where a couple lives decides who helps raise the children and whose land they farm.

One spouse or several

Most marriages everywhere are between two people. Many societies also allow polygyny, where a man has more than one wife. It is found among cattle-keeping peoples in Africa, usually among older and wealthier men. Much rarer is polyandry, where a woman has more than one husband. In parts of the Himalaya, brothers traditionally shared one wife, which kept a small family farm from being divided.

Family beyond the couple

The family that matters is usually wider than parents and children. Grandparents, aunts and uncles share in raising a child. Adoption and fostering between relatives are common and open. Among Inuit, customary adoption, in which a child is raised by grandparents or other kin, is long established and is recognised in the law of Nunavut in Canada.

Who belongs?

Belonging comes first from descent, but also from marriage, adoption and long residence. Many peoples have always taken in outsiders and made them kin. Trouble arises when a state sets its own test. Until 1985, Canada's Indian Act removed legal Indian status from a First Nations woman who married a man without status, and from her children. A man who did the same kept his.

Today many tribal governments keep membership rolls and set their own rules. Some require a parent who is a member. Some tribes in the United States use blood quantum, a minimum fraction of tribal ancestry, a measure first imposed by the federal government. These rules are argued over within communities, because they decide who shares in land, votes and identity.

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